Those that work with me know that I focus deeply on mindset and growing our capacities as a means to create better health and better relationships. To do this, we have to go pretty deep.
We go deep into your learned habits, behaviors, strategies, patterns, beliefs, emotional responses and our history.
We go deep into how you orient towards obstacles, set back, challenges, and opportunities.
We go deep into your values and we are constantly mining your experiences for meaning.
And I know that people want easier answers. They want strategies. They want simple systems that work.
Some systems work and most of the time, the only system that works is one that you’ve custom created for yourself with the help of someone who can see your blind spots and who has been down the path you’ve been down before.
While systems need to be custom created for individualized growth and long term sustainable change, practices are often the bedrock of systems.
So I’m stepping outside of the normal depths to touch on the simple practices that allow my clients to create extraordinary growth and eventual change in their lives.
The truth is that when applied properly, many practices of mind and body will have a deep impact on your physical health and on your love life. Over the next several weeks I will be sharing my deepest insights on the practices that will literally change your life.
Most of these won’t be new. Many of them will almost be cliche. And the truth is that if you actually practice with the right mindset, they will change your life. Another truth is that most people telling you to do them, fail to fill you in on the mindset and have nothing in place to ensure you actually implement them.
In my coaching work, I help clients custom create a system that works, influence them to maintain the right mindset, and most importantly apply just the right amount of pressure at the right times, to make sure they implement. This is how we attain lasting results.
What you will see is many practices shared. With each practice I will share how to start and at least one way it benefits health and one way it benefits your love life.
Practice 1 – Meditation
There is a reason why everyone and their mom has told you to meditate. Happy, successful, fulfilled, healthy, balanced and powerful men (humans really) are often meditators.
How to start – I suggest one of three ways to start.
Start small. Decide that each morning when you wake up, you will find a comfy spot to sit and put a timer on for 2 minutes. During those two minutes, you just focus on your breath. Every week increase by 2 minutes until you are up to the desired time. Most mindfulness teachers recommend 20 minutes.
Start with tech. There are a number of good apps that help people start meditation practices. Headspace has been very successful. Calm is another top pick. I use Insight Meditation Timer.
Start with people. One way to begin a more consistent meditation practice is to dive into the community. In any city and almost all suburbs, there are many groups to choose from that hold regular sitting meditations. You can also choose to go on anywhere from a 3 to 10 meditation retreat as a deep dive. The trick here is to figure out how to leverage these experiences to start a more regular practice on your own. 10 days of meditation can change your life, but 10 weeks of daily meditation can change everything in your world.
How it impacts your health.
There are countless ways that meditation has been proven to improve health. From better sleep to a reduction of inflammation to holistic pain management. The obvious benefit is short term stress reduction. The less than obvious benefit is that when you practice meditation, you empower your capacity to slow down between stimulus and response. So if you are trying to work out more but you keep getting distracted by your favorite TV show or Twitter or you are trying to lose weight and you just can’t seem to “say no to the cookie”, meditation will grow the part of you that makes slower, more mature, more conscious decisions for your health.
How it impacts your love life.
Again, the benefits are endless with your love life.
On an emotional level, you are spending more time experiencing and understanding your own thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and behaviors while you meditate. When you are more connected to your inner experience you can be more present and expressive with a new lover or a life long partner. You can actually listen more deeply and talk about your emotions, wants, desires and dreams from a grounded place of power. If you’ve ever had a fight, miscommunication or potentially harmful tension between you and your partner/lover/date, mindfulness is a key to helping you avoid and or clean up these messes.
On a physical level, you are practicing slowing your breath, reducing your stress and lowering cortisol while you’re learning to feel more sensation. This makes you a better lover. You are more present for your own pleasure and sensations. You can use the breath to slow down your ejaculatory response. You are more present to your lover and can feel your body while observing their subtle cues in breath, movement, sounds and facial expressions. Trust me, sex can reach extraordinary new heights when you are more mindful and in connection with your body and spirit. If your partner is also a meditator, watch out…everything can change!
Up next will be Gratitude Practice!
I’ll consistently remind you that information is not transformation. When it’s time to implement the information, create practices and change your life…you know who to call.
It’s your turn.